This is my story at the University of Washington. A tale of an ordinary person who grows up in college just like many others. The story does not include any amazing adventures like what’s in the novel, nor any big success that could change someone’s life. But it’s a story that marks the end of my childhood and records my footprint to enter society. There are ups and downs in the story, which fulfills the plot to make it more than a straight line.

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My name is Yukai Yan. It is a Chinese name given by my parents. I liked it so much that I decided not to have an American name despite there is a pronunciation problem. The name has a meaning: to be strict to yourself so you can succeed and return. I don’t think my parents foresaw that I would study in a country thousand miles away from home when they named me, but they want me to put all my efforts into everything so I will not regret it later. I wrote that a lot as my expectations in quarterly reflections, but when I question myself whether I feel regret for not working hard enough during my college years, I don’t know the answer. There are too many failures in these years: failed to score A in a class, failed to get into a major, failed to find an intern and a good job offer… When I think of them, it hurts me even though it had already passed a long time ago. I do not know the meaning of them, nor can I confidently say how those setbacks contributed to my growth, but I am still on my path to exploring and growing.

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When I was a freshman, I imagined what I would be when I graduate. I was motivated to leave school and enter the workforce. However, when the graduation date finally approaches, happiness does not appear as expected. There is a mixed feeling of sadness, confusion, and also excitement. Sadness about the friends who will be on different paths, confusion about the future, what/where I will be in the next decade, and the excitement to enter a new life phase. Looking back to my college years, I studied abroad in Japan, declared the desired major, became a teaching assistant, and made friends with various backgrounds… The story does not end here. It will continue as the journey of life unfolds.